International Women's Day Special

 

What would you do if you had complete financial freedom? If money was no longer a worry, how would you design your dream life?

In this episode, I sit down with the amazing Roxanne Calder, founder of boutique recruitment agency Est10, workplace expert, and author of Earning Power: Breaking Barriers and Building Wealth for Women.

Roxanne is on a mission to help women step into their financial and professional power—and what better time to have this conversation than in celebration of International Women’s Day!

We dive into the gender pay gap and why waiting for external change isn’t an option - and Roxanne challenges the conventional narrative, revealing the real reasons why women lose financial ground and, more importantly, how to take control today.

Whether you’re a professional, a business owner, or just someone looking to gain more confidence with money, this episode is packed with practical, actionable strategies that can change your future.

✨ Here’s what you’ll learn:

✔ How self-doubt and imposter syndrome hold women back—and how to break free.
✔ The biggest mistake women make when it comes to money (and how to fix it).
✔ Simple yet powerful steps you can take right now to increase your earning power.

This conversation is eye-opening, empowering, and packed with insights that could change the way you think about your career and financial future.

Listen now and take that first step toward a life of financial freedom! 🎧✨

As always, I’d LOVE to hear what resonates with you from this episode and what you plan to implement after listening in. So please share and let’s keep the conversation going in the Dream Life Podcast Facebook Group here.    

Have a wonderful weekend… and remember, it all starts with a dream 💛

Dream Life & kikki.K Founder  

SHOW NOTES:

• Join my Platinum Coaching Program - where in March our focus is on Planning for the Quarter Ahead. Align your plans with your key dreams & specific goals. Reflect, refine, reenergise and lock in for continued success. Learn more here.

• Join my virtual book club GROW for March where we meet weekly on Zoom to discuss and squeeze the learnings from great books. This March we're reading Time Wise, by Amantha Imber. Dominate your day and level up your life, using the secrets and habits of highly effective people. Learn more here.
• Dream Life Community Facebook Group: Connect with like-minded dreamers.

RESOURCES:

• Sign up to our email list here to hear about upcoming workshops.
• Take your first step to getting clarity on what you want from life with this free bonus dreaming exercise here 101 Dreams Audio Guide 
• Buy Kristina's book, Your Dream Life Starts Here
• Discover how close you are to living your Dream Life. Take our 5min Quiz here and get personalised insights emailed to you...

MODIFIED TRANSCRIPT:

Hi there and welcome back to another episode of Your Dream Life podcast.

Today, we are honouring International Women's Day, a moment to celebrate the strength, resilience, and achievements of women around the world. But more than that, it's a call to action and a reminder that each of us has the power to shape our own journey and create meaningful change.

And what better way to inspire you than with today's guest, Roxanne Calder. A powerhouse in the world of recruitment [00:02:00] and a champion for women's professional growth. Roxanne is the founder of Est10, a leading boutique recruitment agency and has spent 25 years helping individuals unlock opportunities.

She's not just a workplace expert. She's an author, a thought leader, and someone who is. Deeply passionate about breaking barriers and empowering women to claim their own financial and professional success. She has just launched her new book, earning power, breaking barriers and building wealth for women.

And that is what we are going to talk about on today's episode. So, whether you are dreaming of a new career, looking for inspiration to take that next step, or simply seeking wisdom from someone who's been there and done it, this episode is for you. So, let's dive right in.[00:03:00]

Hello, Rox, and a very warm welcome to my podcast. I'm so excited to have you. Thanks,

Roxanne: Kristina. Super excited to be here, and thank you for inviting me. Oh, thank you. Before

Kristina: we get started, I can't wait to dive into your new book. But before we do, I would like to ask a question that I ask all my guests. Did you have a dream as a child, something you wanted to do or have or become?

Cool.

Roxanne: Tricky question. I mean, I, as we've probably chatted before, I've, I've always been someone to dream, but also dream during the day, you know, when you see things, hear things, when you're about, especially if you're in nature, like it just brings something to you. But certainly, as a child, I didn't have a set dream.

And my dreams were, I just wanted to do and be things and experience things. Like sometimes there would be, I'd be at the airport, but I don't know what my job was. But I, I knew I was going somewhere, you know, it was that sort of dream because it's, you know, dreams, they're always sort of abstract and weird.

And I did have a wish, I suppose, when I was [00:04:00] at school that I thought I might like to be a doctor, but that was because I thought I could help people in Southeast Asia at the time. And that didn't happen because my science skills were not there. So I know doctor was off the cards, but writing was on the cards.

Kristina: Yeah. Amazing. Thank you. And before we dive into your book, maybe do you want to just give a little bit of a background on you? Sure.

Roxanne: Sure. I'm the Managing Director of a company called S10. It's a recruitment company. We're based in Sydney. We um, work throughout Australia. We work on pretty much roles that support businesses.

So it could be EAs, PAs, office managers, chief of staff, those sorts of positions. I've always been in recruitment. I fell into it. It wasn't a dream, but it is a dream job and I work with some really great people. Lots of my clients are female. Lots of my, the candidates I deal with are female. I'm actually also setting up a.

In the process of another business that is coaching, mentoring, all that, that sort of stuff as well, which is in the back of my book.

Kristina: Yeah,

Roxanne: that's sort of it in a nutshell.

Kristina: Beautiful, beautiful. So you have [00:05:00] just come up with a new book with a very bold title, Earning Power. What does Earning Power truly mean to you?

It's

Roxanne: the title I gave for the book because I wanted to be a little bit provocative for women. So, I mean, I've got a, it's a media copy. I don't know if you can see it. It's pink. On purpose it's pink because it is for women and not to say, you know, not to do that whole gender piece, but I wanted something that was provocative in terms of a title.

But the book is, primarily, it's written for women and it's about how women can earn more money over their lifetime because of the gender pay gap. So, the title for me is really to help women and show them what they can do by making different decisions, etc. to earn more money to close some of the gender pay gap.

Kristina: Yeah. Actually, I'd love to ask you what made you write this book in the first place?

Roxanne: Yeah. So it probably came about, I mean, I love, I love losing myself in writing and discovering, reading different points of view and those sorts of things. [00:06:00] So that that's probably what is a given, but this particular book came about last year, probably because of when the gender pay gap legislation came into place.

And when people talk about the gender pay gap, they attributed. primarily to external factors. And for me, working in employment, working with women, pretty much all my career, I knew about this gap. So it's a million dollars that the gap is a million dollars. And in superannuation, it's over a hundred thousand over our lifetime.

And I'd known about this gap all along. Except from my perspective, I don't attribute it purely to external factors. There are so many things that we can do for ourselves to close that gap and that's the basis of the book. And pretty much if we wait for those external factors to change, the structural, the societal pieces to change, it's just too late.

You know, there are different stats that quote this. They say it's 50 years, um, the majority say it's 250 years. Why would we wait for that? You know, we'll, we'll be dead. So far better we take things into our own hands and [00:07:00] do what we can for ourselves. And that's really what the book is about. It's a little bit provocative because people want to rely on external factors to say, Oh, there's nothing I can do about it.

You know, I've got to wait for that to happen or this to happen or society should shift and change. You know, life isn't fair. And, you know, if you, if you want to wait for things to be fair, then it's never going to happen.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when we had a chat and thank you so much for including me in, thank you.

It was interesting because I have never, ever waited because I just feel like there's only one person who can make your dream life come true. And that is. ourselves. And it's interesting as well, because I never really, I haven't worked for other people. So the, the, this hasn't been a big issue for me, but I love for you to share a little bit about the stories from the women you have interviewed, because I'm assuming everyone would have come from their own experience.

So what was some of those experiences?

Roxanne: And thank you, Christina, for playing a part in the book and being such a great contributor. Um, the great [00:08:00] thing of when I interviewed the people for the book, so first of all, I've interviewed yourself. I interviewed Nagi from Recipe to Neats. I've interviewed Julia Ross, who is my ex partner.

boss, amazing, wonderful boss and mentor, Layla McKinnon, journalist from Nine, Peter Credlin, Sky News, um, Professor Woods, who took care of the Bali Burns victims and invented the second skin cell. And I also interviewed one man, Phil Kearns, so the ex rugby player. Wallabies, captain, et cetera. I wanted a male perspective as well.

Um, and I wanted a broad variety of people from different backgrounds. But when I went into interviewing, as you could tell when we spoke, cause we went everywhere when we chatted, I didn't go in there with a view that. Oh, you know, you must have had a bad experience in your career or your life and can you share that with me so I can put it into the book in terms of, you know, a gender issue or anything like that.

It was more about exploring this issue and it was really interesting because you said to me, do you know, I've, I've always just taken things into my own hands. [00:09:00] And then, then we went into talk about other things about what happens when things get tough and what do you do for yourself. And we spoke about self love and all those things that were really so great and relevant.

And that's the same for all the other stories that came through. So every one of these women are fabulous in their own careers and in their own lives. And they were able to share different parts of their stories that You know, there was no presumption about what this was going to look like. It was just a, we just went everywhere and all the different factors that came through.

And for me, probably at the end to, to share at the end of the book, cause you know, when you write, you just lose yourself and explore and you think you're doing this and then you go over here. And for me, the wonderful thing was that I was like, Oh wow, I've learned so much from interviewing these, these wonderful ladies and gentlemen, Phil, because there were times when I would, you know, where you think that you're going to fail or you do fail, or.

when you can't pick yourself up and it's really hard and tough and you've got to work through. And so it's great not to feel so alone in that area and that we're all in it. [00:10:00] We're all the same, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Kristina: And that's why it's so amazing when, when people like you, authors, put all their experience and.

you know, the networks experiences in one book, because I think you just can learn so much from other people's experiences versus having to go through it yourself. And we all go through our challenges ourselves, but if we can learn from other people, that is incredible. And that's why I love interviewing authors because it's just so much.

experience and knowledge in one book. It's just incredible. So first, thank you for, for sharing that. But I want to talk about something that we often hear, and that is just ask for a raise in terms of, you know, we're talking the gender, the pay gap here, but earning power goes so much deeper than that. So in your opinion, what's a real reason why women are uncomfortable asking for a pay rise?

Roxanne: You're right. It's more than asking for a pay rise, because it runs deeper than that, and it's, in some ways, it's super [00:11:00] complex, but in some ways the remedy is actually easy, and I know that sounds bizarre, because if you can break through the complexity and understand the why, then it makes it easier, but as just a small example, and this probably applies to men and women, we can probably count on one hand the times that we go out there to ask for a pay increase.

So, if it's so few, why do we wing it? I bet you no one puts any preparation into it. We just stress about it the night before we don't sleep, and then we go in there, and in our mind, we get ourselves worked up. So, probably our body language is closed, we're feeling negative about it, and in our mind, we're like, I'm gonna ask for 10, 000, and then we panic, and 5, 000 comes out.

That's an everyone factor, but in particular for women, the facts and the data and, and I do put that in the book. So if, if the people who want to skip that, it's chapter three, chapter three has a whole lot of stats and factors in there. And I do that on purpose so that people know what really happens and the factors that contribute to women [00:12:00] feeling like this in the workplace.

And basically we're uncomfortable to talk about money and not just because we're uncomfortable to say the figure, but it's about self worth. We don't think that we should be asking for that and one of the structural issues that I do talk about in the book is the piece around discrimination. So discrimination accounts for over 30 percent of the gender pay gap and the discrimination could be something as simple as I'm not going to ask Christina to step up for that promotion because I know she's just come back from MATLAB.

I don't think she can handle that job. I'm going to ask. Jim, instead, if he wants to do it. So that's a level of discrimination that mightn't be so obvious. But in actual fact, what I talk about in the book is the discrimination that we carry ourselves, what I call ingrained discrimination, that we carry ourselves as a child.

So, you know, for anyone who's got daughters out there at the moment, you know that they can play football. If you want to play football, there's a hundred teams out there. But, When I was growing up, if I wanted to play football, and I did, I was like, I want to play football. I was like, girls don't play football.

So if you've grown up with that [00:13:00] level of girls don't do this, girls don't do that, and it's still active in the workforce now, that's what stops us from going ahead. Because we think we can't and when we look at a, an advert for a job, for example, this, this is what happens. It might have 10 criterias and females who go, can, and in fact, Peter Credlin talks about this in the book.

She's fabulous when she talks about it because it's so true. Yes, I can, I can, I can, I can do that. Can't do the last two, not going to apply. Whereas men will go, nope, nope. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah. And I can do that one. I'm going to apply. Good on them for doing that. And, you know, equally, this book is not anti men at all, at all.

It's actually come on females, let's do it for ourselves.

Kristina: Yeah, absolutely. I love that. And you actually talk about imposter syndrome and. About self doubt, can you share with our listeners a little bit about how we can overcome that when we apply for a role and for anyone, because we have a lot of business owners listening [00:14:00] to these two, it's not just about a role.

When I read your book, I felt like I got so much out of just, you know, life skills. It's not just about having a role because you know, we're imposter and self doubt comes not just in our workplace or in our businesses comes in all areas. you know, depending on how we grew up and what, you know, our background is.

So are there some tips for you to, how to overcome that?

Roxanne: Yeah. And really good point. And I'm so glad you said that because that piece of self doubt, all of it. You can't go to work and be a different person to the person that you're at home, and if you have that level of self doubt or self worth, you carry it everywhere you go.

So it's important to work on it in all different areas. But the imposter syndrome and self doubt I mean, for me, it still happens, you know, writing the book. I had that, you know, still launches soon. I'm like, Oh, I don't know. Is it any good? Do you know, like you still have that? And I probably [00:15:00] shouldn't say that because I should be about no, no, get rid of those thoughts.

And that's the key. It's about changing the narrative. So what I do, this is what I personally do. When I have any of those sort of negative thoughts that pop into your head, I just say to myself, and sometimes I say it out loud. I'm just like, I'm not listening to that. And I make myself shift and change it because they're not helping you.

So if you've got an important meeting and I don't know you're a bit intimidated by it and maybe everyone is more senior in there or maybe there's a majority of men in there or you work in a male dominated industry and you're just starting to feel that way, I bet you your body language is also changing.

So as you're going into the office or as you're catching a bus, I bet your shoulders are slumping. So you've got to be present and be aware. So the moment it's coming into your mind, I would be saying, just shift it, be aware of it, shift it and change it. And then notice what your body's doing. And even, you know, we spoke about morning rituals, but you know, having something that you do in the morning that makes you feel good.

For me, it's exercise and getting out. But for [00:16:00] someone else that might be listening to really, I don't know, upbeat music on the bus. It's just. Turn up the volume, you know, to whatever it is that puts you in that space so that you feel good. And then you have to practice. So you've got to be brave. So go to that meeting, prepare for it, and make yourself put your hand up and contribute.

And then walk away and go, I'm going to do that again the next meeting I have. And make yourself do it. That's the stuff that will gradually push some of that self doubt away and build that level of confidence. But it's not simple.

Kristina: Yeah. In my coaching program, we have these all the time because we have people coming in with really big dreams that they haven't done before.

And it's natural to feel that self doubt. So that comes with that saying, but the way I have worked on overcoming self doubt and imposter, et cetera, is to start small and just start taking some small actions because I feel like you can't wait for being. in the perfect situation or the perfect mind frame.

If you start small and just start taking [00:17:00] actions, eventually, if you take small actions every day towards, you know, your dreams, goals, career, whatever that is, eventually you will get there. It's just sometimes it feels overwhelming.

Roxanne: Yeah. Yeah. And I really believe in that as well, because if you just start to do little things.

then it takes you somewhere else, and it takes you somewhere else, and you're building on your knowledge, and you're building on your experience. And before you know it, like, you know, even writing this book is a great example. When that legislation came out, I was contacted by a reporter, and they said, Oh, can you come on, I think it was Sky at the time.

I can't remember which program it was, but it was on TV and I get really panicky when I go on TV or anything like that, cause it. I don't like it. Yeah,

Kristina: yeah, I can relate to that.

Roxanne: Yeah, but I said yes because I knew it would good for me and so from there I then got asked to write a couple articles and then I got sunk myself into it and then I was like, I think I can write a book on this.

So that's sort of, you know, the little tiny steps that you take, they take you to other places and you get to explore [00:18:00] things. And who cares if I, and I don't want to say this because I don't want to ruin any luck, but let's say I made a big mistake on TV. Who cares? Do you know, at the end of the day, I'm the only one that would remember that people have forgotten about it.

It was on there for five minutes, five seconds, like it's fine. Who cares if you do make a mistake? It's just part of growing and learning and developing.

Kristina: Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I remember a quote and something that I think I really lived was like, take a big bite and chew like hell. So I will always say yes to, and I never liked any kind of interviews.

Especially not the live ones on television or radio. I never, ever liked them, but I just decided to say yes as well. And then, you know, the worst thing is that you don't know what to say or whatever, but then, you know, you learn from that and it's just about saying yes and then work it out and then opens up so many doors.

So your book dismantles the idea that the pay gap is just about negotiation. What's the most [00:19:00] overlooked factor in how women lose financial ground? Yeah, that's a

Roxanne: great question. And there's a part of the book that I've earmarked because I get asked this question. So I've permanently marked it because I want to share this with people because I think it's a, people underestimate The small factors that come into play.

So I've got a couple of examples here. If we take the average salary and the average salary in Australia is 98, 000. So I've used average figures for the book and the average wage growth I took out post COVID because I bumped it straight up. So I wanted to make it, you know, as norm as possible. So the average wage growth is at 2.

4 percent because I interview and meet women. all the time. This factor is 100 percent true. I meet women who have not had a pay rise, not even the nominal wage growth pay rise for five or 10 years. So they're in the same job and they just accept that they're not getting a pay rise. So that scenario there in the book, we talk about that.

So if you remain on that [00:20:00] salary for 10 years without even the nominal, the smallest amount of wage growth, you've missed out on 139, 000 over 10 years. Now, that's a big contribution to a mortgage and that's just like a tiny, tiny example of that. Let alone the fact that when we talk about the future value of money, that what could you buy 10 years ago for 98, 000 or your salary versus what you can buy now, like you're actually behind.

And then there's another example that I give that if you use the same salary of 98, 000 And instead you get a 5 percent wage growth every three years. because you do a good job, you contribute, and in between that, they also give you the CPI increase, which is the 2. 4%. Then you're 205, 000 ahead on the average salary versus somebody who says, I'm not going to ask for a pay increase.

And normally the stuff that stops us in those scenarios from asking for a pay increase is the fact that we think, Oh, I've got too much to lose. My boss might think I'm greedy. [00:21:00] Or, it's okay, it's only 2, 000 a year, it's better, you know, I really like my job. And in the book, I talk about these myths that we tell ourselves, the justifications that we make it okay to not ask for that.

And I challenge people to think about that. By themselves, you know, like, to take that away and go, but is that really the reason you didn't ask for the pay increase? Was it really that you are happy in your job? Or did you, you know, did you think, oh no, my, what will my boss think? Well, how about what you think?

How about like, maybe you deserve that, do your research, and then if you think you deserve it, you should ask for that. And if they say no, then have a game plan B. So, there's just some of the examples, I mean, there's other examples that I talk about in there, but all of it shows that the, just the small differences in earnings, or even, you know, if you ask for 7%.

of a salary increase instead of the 2. 5 percent that your boss wants to offer you. Um, it's just having the courage to do that. And if you do that in the right way, in fact, Nagi talks [00:22:00] about this, you know, you just got to do it in the right way. And it doesn't matter if you stumble over your words or anything like that.

And if you're a bit nervous, but if you believe that it's 7 percent and ask for 7%, because that's part of building that self worth. And it's also part of decreasing the self doubt to increase the strength of, of the convictions of what you're talking about.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. I absolutely love that. What are some other things for people to start with?

Let's just assume that they get what you already spoken about, but they want to earn more money. What's the first step apart from that, that they can even take today? Not just the negotiating the salary at certain amount of time, what can they start thinking about today?

Roxanne: So if I'm speaking to a female audience right now, there's a couple of things I would say.

I would say. Okay. Say yes more often, and even if you're a little bit afraid or scared, that's fine. It's healthy. It's okay. Don't be worried about that. Say yes more often, and question, if you're about to say no, question why you're [00:23:00] about to say no. Is it for the right reason? And I'm going to be a little bit provocative here, and say, like, scratch the surface when I say the right reason, and here's the provocative bit.

If the right reason is, I know I've got to pick up the kids. Now, I'm not saying that people don't have to pick up the children. I'm really not. What I am saying is the level of importance in that versus what you want to achieve for things. And if that is important, there is no issue with that. But if you're using it as an excuse not to go for something because you're scared, then it's not the right reason.

So I'm not saying that's not important. It is important. But it becomes a myth if you're using it as a crutch. And then the next thing, just, I think it's important to think about superannuation. One of the things that I did, my accountant told me to do this when I was younger. I didn't want to, but I contributed more to my super when I was younger.

And you know, that was a great, great thing that I did. And you just learn to sort of. I don't know. You don't even know that you're missing it. That builds up so quickly. And so we talk about this in the book about the compound effect. So it's not about, [00:24:00] I'm going to just pick any figure here. So it's not about contributing extra 10 a week to your superannuation fund and you think 10 times, so that's 520 a year times whatever, however many years, it's not.

It's the compound effect of the interest and the growth that you get on that. So, you know, it's more than that. It just compounds and increases and increases and increases, and especially if you start from a young age, that can be an incredible benefit for you. Equally so, saving. I think saving money is a great thing to do.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Thank you so much. That's a really, really good starting point for anyone who wants to take action today. We've got a lot of people here who are action takers, so that's really great. Can we just talk a little bit about gender equality, which I think is an interesting one. Having, having not worked for other people, I'm a, I'm an entrepreneur, but I have never had that issue.

So for anyone who has that kind of issue, and I think it's kind of pending in some work. forces the other way where, you know, the male [00:25:00] is disadvantaged. So there's, you know, different ways of looking at it. What can people, if they have this kind of story in their mind that it's all about, you know, it's hard to kind of break through that kind of glass ceiling, what are some of the things that we can actually take in our own control to, to not wait for the changes and just really start thinking about, you know, I'm not going to let that refine my story and just start taking action.

Roxanne: I think, you know, there's a couple of things. At the end of the day, we all have choices. And I think the moment that you realize that you have a choice. And you can feel empowered by that. And it might still be daunting to think about the choices that you make, but you can leave is one thing. Now, the other thing is maybe, again, I'm always about scratching the surface and understanding more.

Maybe scratch the surface a little bit more to understand, is it really a gender issue? Is it really a discrimination issue? Or is it circumstantial? Maybe ask the question because if you are, if you actually like your job or the [00:26:00] environment, but you think that it's a gender issue or discrimination issue, ask the question to understand, because what a shame that would be for you to be carrying that belief with you, or even leave a job, if maybe that wasn't the case.

And if it was the case, even better that you're bringing it to the attention of someone. Someone mightn't realize, you know, they might have jumped to assumption, like I said earlier, oh Christina, we didn't think that you'd want to do that job because you've just returned from that leave. And then you can say, actually, you're so wrong because my husband is helping me take care of this.

And this is what I did when I'm on the mat leave. I'm ready to go. Give me that job. So you have an opportunity then, but that is, that empowers and you have a choice.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. I absolutely love that. I want to ask a couple of other questions that is not related to the book, but before I do. If you had to summarise this book in just one sentence, a sentence that could change a woman's future, what would that be?

Or a couple of sentences, or a story? So, [00:27:00]

Roxanne: I would say that this book challenges the current narrative about the gender pay gap. and gives you insights in what you can do to earn more money right now.

Kristina: Yeah, I absolutely love that. That's so good. I'm going to link to the book, obviously, and I'm encouraging everyone to get a copy because I think it's so important.

If people don't have their own businesses to really understand your employees, uh, versus obviously if you are an employee to use all these tools, but also for our, you know, future, our daughters and sons, et cetera. So I think it's such a great book. So.

Roxanne: Christine, it's also interesting when you say people with their own businesses, because we're also in that bracket, you know, when, when I pitch for work sometimes, or I have to remind myself, like.

I should be charging that or whatever it might be, not never to be greedy or overcharge ever, ever. But it's always about, I don't know, it's sometimes it's instilled in you still to be like, Oh, should I do that? Oh no, I might do it for free or whatever it might be. So yeah, [00:28:00] no, even for business owners.

Kristina: Yeah.

Absolutely. So a lot of my listeners wants to one day, especially in the coaching program, wants to one day write a book. And I know you've written a couple of books now, but, and you love writing, but can you just share a little bit about your experience? You know, you mentioned before, you know, is the book good enough?

And, uh, and I think we, you know, if it's writing, if it's a podcast, if it's, uh, if it's a YouTube channel, we all grapple with things like that. So can you just share a little bit about your experience, um, writing your book?

Roxanne: Sure. So I, I love writing. I love it because I get to lose myself. I probably sit on that cusp of I'm more introvert than extrovert and nothing gives me more pleasure than getting up early, having no one else around me and just losing myself in my own thoughts and coming up with ideas and all those sorts of things.

So I wouldn't change that. However, It is a lot of hard work. I don't know, in the last four to six months, I've definitely worked [00:29:00] 24 7, well not 24 7, I work seven days a week, and I probably got by on five and a half, six hours sleep for a lot of that. Now, I never would encourage that, I don't want to do that again necessarily, but there are sacrifices that you make when you want something, and I just wanted to keep putting more and more into it, and so it is a lot of hard work.

It's also a sacrifice on your family. Because they're the ones that are not having time with you. They're the ones that are putting up with you being a little bit cranky. Also for something like this, because I lost myself in the whole, and I adore females and are just such pro women, that my poor husband, we would go for a walk and because I'd be so lost in all of this and I would just be giving him facts and stories and telling him, you know, what I thought about this and the poor guy was just and he's wonderful.

You know, so he was just like bombarded with that. So you, if you're interested in writing a book. Do it because it's a wonderful experience. Just know it's a lot of hard work and be able to expect and accept [00:30:00] criticism because you want the book to be the best it possibly can be. So you have to be able to give it to people to get their honest feedback on it.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. Good one. Yeah. I experience all of that as well. And I think all our big dreams and our big goals and the changes that we want to make. It doesn't come easy, but I think that's what makes it so special because if it was easy, it wouldn't be as rewarding and we wouldn't learn as much. So I think that comes with all of our, you know, dreams is if it's writing a book or starting a business or moving to the other side of the world, it's kind of all.

Hard, but very rewarding, if you want that, obviously, it comes with it. So, um, you mentioned before your, that you love mornings and that you love exercise. So I'd love to ask you, what is your morning ritual? Perhaps not when you're writing because that might be just your focus, but in your everyday life, what's your morning ritual like?

Roxanne: Yeah, interesting. Even when I was writing, I [00:31:00] tried to keep to this ritual because it helps me be balanced, if that makes sense. So, and I think people use that word a lot, but the best way I can relate to that is, balance is not equal for me. Balance is not about six hours on that, four hours on that. It's just what gives me enough energy.

that I can do all the other stuff. So I get up early. I mean, when I was writing the book, I'd be getting up at four. Now I probably get up at five on average. I exercise. So my exercise is either, you know, weights or anything around that. It could be a swim, um, or it could be a nice long walk. I love going out, hearing the birds, taking my dog with me.

And I also, I also do ice bathing as well, that the contrast therapy of the hot and the cold. I've tried meditation and this is the best way I can get into that space of meditating. And because when you are in that extreme cold, you have to focus on your breathing. So that's really good for me. And so when I would do anything that would be scary [00:32:00] or daunting, like TV or something, I would definitely ice bath if I could beforehand, or I use that breathing practice before.

I'm about to be in that position. So I just try and detach and I just breathe, you know, through the nose and then out as slowly as possible. Selfishly, my routine is over an hour in the morning. Like, you know, that whole ritual is over. Probably a good hour and a half, sometimes two hours.

Kristina: I do that too. I think, I think it's so important to have that kind of self care because the more self care and time you give yourself to do all the things that, you know, gives you that energy, the more energy you had for your team, your family, your friends.

Your community. So I, I love hearing that and I love, I always ask all my guests about their morning ritual. 'cause everyone's morning ritual is different and for anyone listening can take whatever is interesting to them. So thank you for sharing that. I also like to ask you, do you have a favorite nonfiction book or a book that made a big impact on [00:33:00] your life?

Roxanne: Um, I love writing and I love losing yourself in that. And the impact of the stories, I mean, it's probably a couple. Maybe The Little Prince or even, oh, do you know what? No, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. So I talk about that in the book as well. And maybe even The Alchemist. For all the reasons that when you go back to those books as you mature and get older, there's a different take on those books.

So, you know, Sylvia Plath is, you know, a little bit I was gonna say a bit depressing but it's also, you know, I think anything like that that has some emotion to it or anything behind it is going to have a bit of a residual on you. But I refer to it in the book because she's, you know, sitting under this fig tree with all these different, what am I going to do in my life?

You know, I could be an actor or an actress, I could be an author, I could do this, you know, maybe I could go to space. And then nothing happens because this gets too scared to like, will I try that? Or will I try that? And then all the figs just, you know, gradually die and everything and those opportunities go.

So, uh, there are a couple of books. I mean, I love all books. [00:34:00] Yeah. They're precious. You know, I don't know if you grew up in, but my Parents were always like, books everywhere, you know, dust, get them out, read them, perfect. Yeah,

Kristina: yeah. I absolutely love reading. I run a book club and we read a book a month, but I, I read multiple books at the same time because I always feel like when I go to bed, I just want to read something that really, I feel like I need.

And so that's why I read lots of books. I know this is not for everyone, but for me, that works really well. And I just can't wait to go to bed and read. And I love reading in the morning too. So love learning, love that authors like you put in all your knowledge, expertise, and. share it to all of us. It's a really amazing way of learning things quickly and learning things from other people.

It's just a little bit ahead of us. So, so, uh, amazing. I love to ask you one more question. Actually, a couple of more questions. One is knowing what you know now, what kind of advice would you give to your younger self?

Roxanne: [00:35:00] Probably not to take things so personally. And I still did that a little bit. I've got better, much better at it because you can waste so much energy on that.

And at the end of the day, you know, you're going to learn from things. You've got to have some self awareness, but not to take it to heart so much. And probably, I mean, oh God, I wish I could change this, have a bit more patience.

Not to maybe react so much, just a little bit calmer.

Kristina: Yeah.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Kristina: Yeah. That's good. That's good. Thank you so much. That's really great. And the last question for. anyone who's listening, what is one thing that you love for people to really start changing today?

Roxanne: Maybe firstly, think what a million dollars difference would have made to your mother's life.

Because, you know, if they had done things differently, would their health care be different? You know, would the really things that are crucial in life, Leah, would that have given them a better lifestyle, health, all of [00:36:00] those things? And then that extrapolates down to you, like what would you do with an extra million dollars over your lifetime?

There's a lot, you know, and it's about financial security, so I'm not talking about, you know, the things that you purchase, I'm actually talking about financial security and all those sorts of things. So, if that's the case over a lifetime, let's face it, life goes really quickly, the next time you're in a situation at work, just say yes.

If in your heart you do want to do it, say yes and work it out later.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. Love that. It's like that quote again, you know, take a big bite and chew like hell in terms of learning it. And I think Richard Branson often talks about this. He was always saying, you know, if you've got the opportunity, say yes, and then work it out later.

And that's why I think it's, if you have a growth mindset and you listen to podcasts like this, or read books like yours, or, um, go to seminars or work, you know, part of a program, whatever, or a community with like minded people, I feel like you just can, you can speed up your learning so much. And, [00:37:00] um, and I think if we said yes to much more things and worked it out, it opens up possibilities that you could not even have imagined, you know.

a few years back. It's just so exciting.

Roxanne: Yeah, no, that's exactly right. Yeah.

Kristina: Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on my podcast and sharing your wisdom. And of course, also thank you for writing this amazing book. I'm going to link to it for everyone to read. I'm super excited to see what that opens up for you.

I have no doubt that will open up a lot more opportunities as well. So thank you so much. Thank

Roxanne: you, Christina, and thanks for having me on your podcast. What a, it's a privilege and a thrill. So thank you for that. And also thank you for being a part of the book. I'm really so grateful for that. And all of your insights and everything that are in the book are fabulous.

So thank you.

Kristina: Thank you so much. Wow. What an inspiring conversation. I hope Roxanne's insight have ignited something in you today. Remember, change starts with [00:38:00] action. Whether it's making that bold career move, negotiating for what you are worth, or simply believing in your own potential. Every step forward matters.

And as we celebrate International Women's Day, let's not forget, when you take action on what truly matters to you, you create every pull effect, making the world a better place for everyone. If you love this episode, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today. And if you haven't already, subscribe and please leave me a review that means the world to me.

Until next time, keep dreaming big and taking those steps toward the life you love. As always, I will be back on Monday with a new Monday Morning Motivation episode. I'll see you then.